dear libby

fluffy february: days 13-19: things

2012-02-19T14:11:00.000-08:00

Little things

Old things

Very odd things

Everythings... *like finding little surprises on the shelves in bookstores.

fluffy february: days 13-15: snappy

2012-02-15T18:29:00.000-08:00

13. I love the smell of my lemongrass soap

14. I love umbrellas

15. I love turquoise

fluffy february: days 9-12: love dump

2012-02-11T15:11:00.001-08:00

So that we're clear, I am following my exercise to find things that I love in every day, I'm just not writing about them individually. To make up for the delay, here's a bit of a love dump of what I paid notice to as I went.

Day 9: The character of my apartment: Getting to know my new place has been a really fun experience, and I will write more about this along the way. While the last little while has been on the cold side; there is plenty of tea, dancing, and parading around in blanket capes going on over here. I've never been so creative with keeping warm.

I also have a talkative kitchen sink, which likes to make noise on occasion (during laundry nights.) I'm not sure what it's trying to say, but it makes for interesting dinner music.*Glug-glug*

Day 10: Paper stage: I was given this beautiful paper stage, from Colette (who I love), when I was visiting Winnipeg. It is probably the coolest thing -made of paper- that I've played with, in a long time. I might want to make my own paper-something one day, if I'm ever feeling so ambitious. Let's not count on it, though it's on my list of crafting curiosities. I love papery things.

Day 11: Direction: My mom got me a calendar of vintage maps, which I love for what it represents to me and my present world. There are too many metaphors to throw down with this one. I love maps. Let's keep it simple.

Day 12: Sunday Morning Breakfast: No matter what, Sundays always start off on a good note, because I make them that way. I'll read my paper, drink some coffee, make a yummy/hearty breakfast, and enjoy every little bit of the morning while it lasts. Lovely. Now I'm ahead of the game.

Love your days.

fluffy february: day 8: snap

2012-02-08T18:09:00.000-08:00

Breakfast haiku:

I love Breakfast Jones

you were already mentioned

I love my new lens.

I am playing with my camera again.

fluffy february: day 7: drawrings

2012-02-07T06:24:00.000-08:00

Of course anyone who knows me, knows I love to draw and make things. Actually, I went a pretty long time without doing either of those things, and now that I'm bringing it back into my life again, I don't know what I ever did without it. What the hell do you do with yourself without creativity? Math? Philosophize? Fold laundry? Sounds fun.. you can have it.

I love being creative.

fluffy february: day 6: sweet quiet

2012-02-07T06:10:00.000-08:00

I think a part of my problem with writing consistently is that I haven't been taking pictures, since I moved. Living in a basement suite provides a little bit of a challenge when I don't quite know how to play with lights and fancy photography settings; as I'm no pro. Actually, I took a year of photography in college and may have even un-learned what I had taught myself through the years of trial and error, with film. I'm not sure where I'm going with this one. I can't say I'm straying off topic.. I haven't even started one.

So, my love for today?I wasn't prepared for this one, but I would have to say that I'm a big fan of quiet. Why not? It makes me think, it gets the ideas swirling, at times it can even haunt me.

Quiet is an art. Some people can't handle it, or feel that they need to fill the void with the sound of their own voice, a clicking pen, a drum solo on the surface of a desk.. Yes, quiet is lovely. It's something I like to take time for. If I didn't have quiet, I don't think it would go over well.

fluffy february: day 4 & 5 : breakfast

2012-02-05T07:51:00.000-08:00

Here's a different face that I love (and a different sort of handsome) which comes in the form of a little someone who makes up most of my world, Breakfast Jones. Where does the Jones part come from? Beats me, it just fits. Apparently, there is a definition for Breakfast Jones on the internets. It's fitting.. don't ask questions.

I don't think I could imagine what it would be like without the Jones in my life, as silly as that may sound to the non-pet crowd, but it's true that I love my dog for the company which he provides. There's a sense of security that I find in his presence, as we get to know this place that has become our new home. I really can't stress it enough.. I love this guy..

Happy Birthday, stink.

fluffy february: day 3 : greg

2012-02-04T08:03:00.000-08:00

So, I may have skipped yesterday unintentionally, but I'm making up for it right now with this haiku.

Dear Gregory Peck

You dashing, fine, gentleman

with great bone structure

fluffy february: day 2 : roads

2012-02-02T20:09:00.000-08:00

I was thinking about it today -after yesterday's disoriented episode- how happy I am to be here and how proud I should be for doing so successfully, on my own. I took a picture on the way (during my first solo road trip) so I could sieze the moment, because it was something I had wanted for a very long time; control, freedom, independence, time to myself to figure it all out. I was at that very moment -and still am- quite petrified. I fucking love it, if you'll excuse my French.

As the baby of the family, I don't think I had much room to breathe, as I often had things taken from me or done for me, without even asking for it. Despite the good intentions of those around me, I was definitely conditioned into being slightly rebellious, while it also made me incredibly insecure about trying new things and trusting them completely. I have always preferred to do things in my own way, at my own pace, and sans the implications that there is a better/faster/easier way to do it... it's just that this approach was a little bit different and quite a leap away from my comfort zone. I don't know where I'm going with this, really. All I know is that I got here in one piece, on my own, am still alive, and am constantly moving forward. I'm petrified, as I said before, but shit, man...

I love it all.

fluffy february: day 1 : a toast

2012-02-01T20:29:00.000-08:00

For no good reason I had a bit of a rotten day. Not that there was anything about it in particular that made it 'bad', it just started on a funny note. First, I fell asleep on the couch -after getting ready for work- dreamed I was on my way to work, woke up to wonder why I wasn't at work, wondered how I was going to get to work after pacing in one place for a solid five minutes because I didn't want to make the trek all over again as I had just done so in my dream; realized I had to get it done no matter how long I paced, left for work, got distracted and somehow went to Starbucks (I don't even care about Starbucks) purchased the exact brand of tea I have stashed away at my desk at work... and.. yeah.. it carried on from there. I'm okay, really.

Because I want to do something fun, and it is the first day of February -and February is both the shortest and the fluffiest month of them all- I thought I'd do up a "love each day" for the month, by finding something I love ... you get it, right?... write about it, draw it or share it in any way I want. Too mushy? I think it sounds fun. I can't wait to write a sonnet about sandwiches!

Anyway, it's day 1 of Fluffy February. We'll start it off with something non-fluffy, but oh so wonderful for its delicious simplicity...

Toast.

Glorious, crunchy,

any time of day, I can eat you

and * your * crumbs **

toast.

I love you.

chilly dog

2012-01-16T21:26:00.000-08:00

Sucks to have to sit and look cute, when it's too cold to go outside and play.

dreaming

2012-01-15T07:20:00.001-08:00

Someone invented the breakfast machine. Um... want.

paints

2012-01-14T18:24:00.000-08:00

Wine and painting on a Saturday night; probably the best combination ever. I made a little something to hang on my walls for the moment. I may have hung it before it dried.

I never said I was patient.

dress me

2012-01-07T18:39:00.000-08:00

If I worked in a Mad Men office or in a 1950s kitchen, I would wear this dress every day.

tis time

2011-12-24T16:48:00.000-08:00

May your days be merry and bright. To you and yours....and mine.
xoxo

jake

2011-12-17T17:38:00.001-08:00

Breakfast has a new best friend, living upstairs from us. Meet Jake. I had a funny experience with him last week when he got excited and smashed his (giant) head straight into my face; leaving me with a massive, double-sided nose bleed that made me feel rather light-headed after about twenty solid minutes of red. Amazingly, I made it down to my suite without a single spot on my clothing or carpet. Yes, I'm a pro at tidy injuries. Wow, the blood was amazing.

I don't hold any ill feelings toward Jake for this accident, as it wasn't intentional. It also helps that his owners are probably the sweetest people I've met in a long time. They've all helped me feel more at home here, which I couldn't be more grateful for. Tomorrow marks one month of being here. I'm pretty happy. So happy, it's oozing out of my face.

Thanks, Jake.

dec

2011-12-17T17:34:00.001-08:00

The toy rush is still on so I've been a bit distracted from doing much of the Christmas hooplah that I normally do. I guess I'm just not feeling it this year, yet. I can't tell. I did my best to remind myself to have some fun and make some wintery bits. Now if it'll just snow a bit..

nostalgia

2011-12-09T21:10:00.000-08:00

A new robot. This was my Christmas Story.

more to come

2011-12-01T19:44:00.000-08:00

It's difficult to put into words what I've been experiencing, these last few months. I have no idea what to say... Actually, I don't even know where I am (without a GPS) It's disorienting, yet curious. I'm petrified.

I came to a city I had never visited; to live in a place I had never seen, in a car packed with two weeks worth of stuff; to start a brand new job that I didn't even have time to think much about until I got there. I suppose you could call this a bit of an adventure. It has only just begun. *Adventure music.

After two weeks, I'm already learning to love this new place of mine. It's been totally overwhelming, but I'm incredibly grateful for what I have gained from the experience already. My mind is everywhere. Where am I?

mom collage

2011-11-16T15:26:00.001-08:00

She makes me laugh.

adventure time

2011-11-12T14:11:00.000-08:00

It looks to me like the winds have changed to the west, and I'm following it as soon as this week. It's different, it's new, and intimidating. I won't lie that I'm bordering on petrified. The good kind at least.. whatever that means. I love a good adventure.

With all that I've lost in this past year, I see so much to gain. I suppose I grew up learning how to cope with acceptance and change, that it seems like a second nature to figure it out for the moment and carry on. It was tough coming back to a place that I let go of such a long time ago. Its familiarity was welcoming, and provided me with a certain sense of nostalgia, but it didn't quite suit me anymore.

The greatest part of this adventure is that I'll be going to live on my own and do it at my own pace. So much is in my control, it's rather exhilarating to imagine. It's just me, my belongings and -of course- my greatest companion. I feel a little naive, maybe even selfish for doing so much to help satisfy my curiosity. All I know is that if I didn't try it now, I'd surely regret it. Selfishness is allowed. I highly recommend it, though it's not an easy thing to do.

What I would have done without my -old and new- friends and family after such a whirlwind of transition, is uncertain. I am grateful. A part of what makes leaving difficult is the bond that we have created in the time that I've been here. It was nice to catch up, to learn about one another all over again, to share and appreciate the things we once took for granted. I leave feeling so very fortunate to know such caring and wonderful people.

Thanks Winnipeg, it was great to get to know you all over again.

romano

2011-11-12T14:08:00.000-08:00

Lou Romano is incredibly inspiring.

portrait

2011-11-09T11:12:00.000-08:00

Colette Molloy, one of my greatest friends, took some fancy pictures of me yesterday. I feel so lucky to have such wonderful friends...who know how to make me look good.

autumn breakfast

2011-10-29T07:52:00.000-07:00

Always discrete. Breakfast Jones loves this time of year.

jacko

2011-10-28T19:49:00.000-07:00

come back, friend

2011-10-27T15:27:00.000-07:00

During a lovely hoar frost, my camera decided to cop out on me. I'll need to take it in to get fixed, which has me feeling a bit nervous because I have been in a comfort zone for so many years. I'm not quite sure if I'm ready for change as of yet. I'm stubborn with gadgets, I suppose you could say..? or just stubborn in general. Yes, that's it.

Now if I can figure out where I left the lens cap...

bike fun

2011-10-21T10:01:00.000-07:00

I think next year, I need to get myself a bike.

button

2011-10-20T14:57:00.000-07:00

I heart buttons... and of course tea.. and pretty black and white patterns..

snugstudio on etsy

fall sandwich

2011-10-19T17:59:00.000-07:00

I took my camera for a walk today, to enjoy the cool fresh air and find some fancy bits for inspiration. I love this season for the colors and textures that come with it. If fall came in sandwich form, I would surely eat it. I don't know what that means... I love it, that's all.

There's a certain silence that comes with the chill in the air. I often encourage myself outdoors when it's like this simply for the sake of learning to deal with change, even if it requires more layers of socks and warm beverages to thaw out one's fingers. Did I mention how fun it was to see frost on the windows this morning? This, I know will wear out its welcome in time.

It has been confirmed, I love this season.

sketch shark

2011-10-15T08:50:00.000-07:00

Sometimes this is what happens when I decide to keep a sketchbook.

sleep 101

2011-10-12T18:52:00.001-07:00

He's a pro.

bfast

2011-10-07T20:00:00.001-07:00

Doing what he does best.

carving miss sadie

2011-10-06T17:32:00.000-07:00

I'm working for a Shih Tzu again; which is really such a treat. I got to meet the lovely Miss Sadie not too long after Breakfast arrived in the prairies. We shared a pleasant walk, some wine, and even some decent poop stories; which is typical for dog related conversation.

When I was asked if I was interested in creating another banner for the blogging pup, I suggested a dabbling of sorts with different media. Something new to keep my hands busy, something challenging. I may even be wrinkling my brow a bit more than usual. This is a good thing.

I enjoyed taking sculpture in college, but haven't done much with it considering the amount of mess and dust which it creates. This, being smaller scale (using Sculpey) has minimal mess. I have a cup for my shavings, am whittling (yes, whittling) the figure with an exacto blade among other carving tools, and have yet to tamper with painting techniques to finish it off. So, yeah, I'm a tad nervous about the outcome, but am enjoying the process.

kick start

2011-10-04T17:29:00.000-07:00

It's October, my favorite time of year; the season of change. Yes, it's time to put my crafty pants on. Let's kick it.

saturday: sleep in

2011-09-24T10:40:00.000-07:00

A single photo - no words - capturing a moment. A simple, heart warming moment. A moment I want to pause, savour and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

exchange

2011-09-18T19:53:00.000-07:00

Took my camera for a walk in Winnipeg's exchange district. There is some pretty cool stuff out there, underneath the grunge.

sunshine

2011-09-17T16:16:00.000-07:00

Don't let this sad display make you think that maybe things for Breakfast have been at all too rough. He has been completely spoiled with love, a basket of toys, piles of blankets to sleep in, an enormous yard, and three other dogs to run around with. Yes, he's quite popular; meeting new faces, and greeting ones that he's sniffed/licked/snorted in before. I don't think he has much to complain about, though I can see it's taking him some time to figure it out.

He decided to move his bed from across the kitchen - of where we're staying- to a little corner of the room that gets maybe a good hour or so of direct sunlight. It was heartwarming for me watch him pursue exactly what he needed in order to achieve that sense of comfort in what feels like "home" in his mind. He'll sit (and sulk) and wait ever so patiently for that moment to arrive, even if it's just for a sliver of time of what he's used to.

It's things like this that make me shake my head in admiration at this little dog of mine who knows how to teach me such wonderful lessons without a single word. He's just so sweet, simple and incredibly funny. He is my sunshine.

sandwiches are beautiful

2011-09-13T10:52:00.000-07:00

When it comes to sandwiches (to switch to a happier topic) I have to admit that I have a bit of a soft spot. If you haven't already heard me talk with my mouth full about Chachi's sandwiches (and their crunchy pickles) I guess you haven't been around for too long. I may have mentioned them a few million times, at least in the world of spoken word. Seriously..

I don't know what it is that makes a good sandwich, in my mind, but I have a few favorites that are lurking in my hometown; which I'm more than happy to seek out and gorge upon, to figure out this mystery of what it is that has me saying "omafogud!" Maybe it isn't anything in particular, I just love a good sandwich. Who doesn't, really?

The reason I bring up this random subject is because I tried a new kind of sandwich yesterday that I'm still thinking about, today. It was a grilled eggplant at Baked Expectations, and omafogud... it hit the spot. I can't believe I didn't take a picture of it, though it gives me an excuse to go back! Finding a volunteer to come with me next time shouldn't be too difficult. Mmm.... sandwiches.....

breathing

2011-09-12T18:25:00.000-07:00

It's been so hard trying to put it into words where I'm at, and what is going on in my world. Really, it's hard to describe because this whole thing has been so disorienting and unbelievable. I ask myself quite often "where am I?" Even out loud. Why not? It's been a bit of a blur.

Some days it feels unbearable; the idea that I don't have a "home" anymore, a job, the ol' routine, the life I knew for so long. Sure, I have a roof over my head, but I'm tired of this lifestyle of starting from scratch and not knowing where I'm going or how long I'll stay. I've lived a very long and unstable lifestyle that I'm ready to put an end to it, on my own terms. It's necessary for me to have that control.

In all honesty, the home that I left behind didn't really feel like home -in the back of my mind- for a very long time. I guess somehow I knew that I wasn't going to be staying long, and so I didn't really allow myself to fully settle in, just to be prepared for the unexpected. Even if it may have been semi-expected, it was not at all easy when that day finally came. This is not a sob story nor am I even complaining. This is what comes with living; you change, you learn, you keep breathing. I figure if you're still breathing, you don't have much to complain about. Pick up, carry on.

I've let go of so many things in the last few months, it's really quite amazing. It wasn't easy, it still isn't, but it taught me a lot about who I am and what I'm capable of. I said goodbye to the things that were once so important to me, I didn't think I could ever live without them; the familiar faces and places, my seat in the front window, where I'd drink my tea, watch the neighbourhood, do my writing or stitchy-bits, listen to the sound of silence on the mornings to myself. I know I'll find another comfort zone of my very own like that, one day. It's frightening (and maybe even fun) not knowing where that place is yet.

Each day is different, and the emotions that come with them are amazing, sometimes simple, intense and/or even totally unexpected. I have no idea what I'm doing... for the moment, that's just fine. I'm breathing.

simple things

2011-09-12T17:13:00.000-07:00

Some days I think about Tim's fuzzy feet and how much I miss him.

weeee!

2011-09-10T10:31:00.000-07:00

Maybe I should make postcards?

bff

2011-09-09T13:24:00.000-07:00

He makes me smile.

pretty little me

2011-09-06T19:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes a girl just needs a haircut to feel better during the tough times. Thank you Colette, for making me feel more like myself again. It's been a long time since I felt pretty..

oh deer

2011-08-27T13:31:00.001-07:00

Another dead animal at the Museum of Man & Nature.. .

nom

2011-08-26T10:04:00.001-07:00

I don't know if I should design postcards...

goonie boat

2011-08-26T10:02:00.000-07:00

o winnipeg

2011-08-25T19:10:00.000-07:00

Went to the Museum of Man & Nature today. One of my favorite places for Canadian inspiration.

move on

2011-08-19T06:48:00.000-07:00

All I can say right now, on my last day in the place I called home, is that it's a funny world that we live in. Everything is a learning experience, and how we choose to go about it is what makes us all unique. Emotions often have a mind of their own when so much is uncertain, but that's natural. Crying in the middle of the grocery store.. maybe not so natural. What? I have no shame. Even cereal can be touching at times like this.

Life can change in a matter of minutes. It's disorienting at times, but there's something intriguing and even refreshing about it. You learn what not to take for granted, what pieces make up who you are. You take those pieces and pack them in a box, to come with you to the next level. Bubble wrap included.

I'll miss all of these things that are coming with me in boxes, and the things that I'm leaving behind. The place I once called home is a different place. I've accepted that. Saying goodbye is not something I like to do, but it comes with the package of moving forward. Where I go from here is a bit of a mystery, but that's where the fun can be found. I know I'll come out of this feeling really good, where ever that may be.

I'll see you when I get there.

my spot

2011-08-18T14:49:00.001-07:00

and so

2011-08-18T09:13:00.000-07:00

In happy news, Tim has found a new home. I really couldn't feel more relieved to know that he'll be taken care of, while I'm gone. Of course the sad news is that I have to say goodbye. It's going to be tough, but at the same time I feel really good about where he is going; a nice, quiet, home where he will be loved completely. His new family (a lovely 60 year old woman) is anxiously awaiting his arrival. For now I am enjoying my last few minutes with him, alone. I will miss him, so very much. I can't really describe it.

Thank you all for your love and support through all of this.

cute approach

2011-08-15T17:31:00.000-07:00

Please.

saturday

2011-08-13T16:56:00.000-07:00

times

2011-08-10T21:03:00.001-07:00

Sometimes it's hard to know what to say.

incredible

2011-08-09T10:01:00.001-07:00

bachelor

2011-08-08T20:12:00.000-07:00

He is so handsome.

real catch

2011-08-07T18:24:00.000-07:00

A bit more playful, perhaps..

so wrong

2011-08-07T16:25:00.000-07:00

I'm a horrible person.

the days of tim

2011-08-07T13:44:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true. And oh do I hate to admit it out loud that Tim has to go. It's taken me weeks to let this process. And so, here we are.

Tim is a retired gypsy. We have lived in 6 houses in the 10 years that we've been together. I'd love to bring him with me, but I have to be realistic. I have no idea where I'm heading, or for how long.

What I hope for Tim, is that he can find a place to call a retirement home. A place to settle, with loads of window sunshine to hold down.

While I'm not ready to say goodbye just yet, I'm taking it all in while he's here. Every day is different. Laughing is essential.

humor and sadness

2011-08-07T13:38:00.001-07:00

When trying to make light of a -very- difficult situation, you'll be surprised by the things you come up with.

pack

2011-08-06T19:11:00.000-07:00

old friend

2011-08-06T09:39:00.001-07:00

market

2011-08-05T22:08:00.000-07:00

Went to Crossroads Market today, with Petia and David.

Produce is pretty.

gypsy

2011-07-31T17:14:00.000-07:00

I've decided that when I get back to Winni, I'm going to go out and find all of the houses I've lived in (eleven, in total) and take pictures of them (like a creep.)

Creativity makes me do silly things. It's going to be good.

beep boop

2011-07-31T13:10:00.000-07:00

Nothing to report. Just saying hey.

sun soup

2011-07-30T14:42:00.000-07:00

Humor in a sunset.. I decided to soup it up.

I watch the sunset, sometimes

2011-07-29T20:52:00.001-07:00

Insert thought evoking quote by a smart person like Aristotle . . . or Lionel Richie.

issue 10

2011-07-25T19:02:00.001-07:00

UPPERCASE magazine always knows how to make me feel great.

vectrekin'

2011-07-24T18:59:00.000-07:00

I found my grandpa's old Vectrex in the closet.

It still works. We tried it out.

Nostalgia wins.

drawrings

2011-07-24T15:33:00.000-07:00

While sorting -before packing- I found some drawings that I did in 2002. It surprises me when I find things like this because I am horrible at throwing things away.

The 1980s had its influences, and so did my friends. From what I found, we watched a lot of Star Wars, He-Man, Thundercats, Bruce Lee, Gremlins, and Goonies.

These things are so dorky to me.

pieces

2011-07-23T17:03:00.000-07:00

Found some paintings in the closet. This is a lovely reminder of what I need to do, right now. Creativity is a good friend.

spinning

2011-07-22T22:46:00.000-07:00

I can't really describe my universe, at the moment. It's disorienting, and there are so many funny -often unexpected- emotions involved. While I'm trying not to think of goodbyes and the tough stuff that comes with moving forward; I'm focusing on what is now and taking each day as they come. I'm taking notes, I'm scribbling, I'm drifting and staring at the ceiling for hours. Self discovery makes for some good stories.

blind melon, change

2011-07-22T22:11:00.001-07:00

Lately, it has been the song of the day. So much to come.

last play

2011-07-17T19:56:00.000-07:00

these days

2011-07-14T18:49:00.000-07:00

It's been hard for me to think of a way to put this into words. Life is taking an interesting turn. Change is never a bad thing, though it can be a bit discouraging; maybe even a little intimidating. In the end, it never hurt anybody.

We decided that we simply grew apart; became great friends along the way. We lost sight of the sparkly things, lost touch with ourselves. It was easy to agree that we needed to build ourselves back up again; the upsetting part was realizing that we needed to do it, alone.

The first step will be me, moving back to my home town, with Breakfast in tow. I figure this is a good place for us to go, to regroup, explore, and pick up the pieces. There is so much to come, in the days ahead. For the moment, let's enjoy the last few days of what we know while they last. It's both heartwarming and a little bit sad.

I'll miss these days, I know. In some ways, I already do.

I know it's sunday..

2011-07-10T09:05:00.001-07:00

morning walk

2011-07-08T18:55:00.000-07:00

Took the scenic -and textured- route to work, today.

road trip

2011-07-07T19:10:00.001-07:00

Though San Francisco is always on my mind, I think I'll be hitting up Winnipeg, instead. Often when I'm lost, I find that even just a short visit, such as this one, will help remind me of the things I need in order to stay grounded.

I look forward to getting away to reflect, to unwind, find some inspiration, maybe throw some fountain pennies and make a selfish wish or two. It should be a good time. I have so many favorite faces to see, too. I can't wait to remember who I am, again. July 15th, I'm off!

Next time, San Fran.. next time.

well hello

2011-06-26T19:22:00.000-07:00

Went to the bookstore today to look for something inspiring. Gregory Peck came home with me.

eff it

2011-06-25T11:28:00.000-07:00

I have to admit it feels that I've been in a bit of a blur for the last few months. Between boring conversation about work, the weather not cooperating, and the turbulence of life, I can't say I've been inspired to write or even do much at all lately. I'd apologize for the laziness, but I'm also stubborn, bored and just plain uninspired.. We all go through wicked lulls, sometimes through the transition of season, or simply just 'cause. This is my just 'cause.

Since I have little to no excuse to put my personal work on hold, though procrastination, anxiety and impatience keeps me from doing much at all, I'm starting to urge myself forward with a little bit of force and sharp pinch of "shut up and do it." My incentive is to grow, to learn, to challenge myself, to stop with the belly aching. I think the belly aching is something I inherited from my French side. You know, concentration only wrinkles the brow. I'm beginning to think those wrinkles are a necessity.

So... I'm off to search for what it is that inspires me and share, to remind myself of what it is that keeps me moving. Enough of this monotone buzz.

necessity

2011-06-16T20:53:00.000-07:00

I need to be inspired.

no sound

2011-06-10T21:13:00.001-07:00

bath date

2011-06-06T20:37:00.000-07:00

I wasn't feeling too hot today, so I decided to shut down and catch up with my old friend, bath. It's been a while since we hung out, but at least with our friendship, when we get back together, it's like we didn't miss a thing. Oh bath, how I missed you.

We had a good time becoming reacquainted through silence and reflection. We did some thinking and tossed around a few ideas in between soaping, sponging and soaking. It was such a good time, I think bath might even call me back for a second date.

I can't wait for that call.

be jill my beating heart

2011-06-04T11:30:00.000-07:00

So I may just be having a not-so-secret love affair with Jill Barber. Her music has that old fashioned, romantic vibe, that makes me want to slow dance and/or sip on a milkshake with my dream boat. *cue lady crush.

photo from jillbarber.com

may day: 28-31

2011-05-31T17:55:00.000-07:00

Is it wrong that I'm kinda glad May is over (tomorrow)?

It has nothing to do with taking pictures every day, or the workload, the weather, or anything complainy.

I think it's just the idea of something shiny and new, a breath of fresh air. Inspire me, please?

Also, I'd like to see less office donuts.

The end (of May days.)

may day: 26 & 27

2011-05-28T20:15:00.000-07:00

Been seeing lots of green and gray.

may day: 24

2011-05-26T20:36:00.000-07:00

Scary stairs..

may day: 21, 2, 3

2011-05-25T21:28:00.000-07:00

Got my feet dirty in the garden, last weekend. They were washed instantly.

Miss Kitty doesn't like to get her feet dirty.

Outwit Grand Moff Tarkin- Spin again.

may day: 20

2011-05-22T15:08:00.001-07:00

I got myself a red t-shirt the other day, which happened to remind me of my mom. For years, she has told me that I look good in red.. meanwhile, I always found it to be a rather intimidating -and cautionary- color. I think of red in a different way, I guess, I haven't figured it out. Still, there is something about it that I'm trying to get to know.

When I was a kid, mom used to get my sister and I to pose in our new threads to show off how good we looked. Not one for modelling in front of the camera, it was typically the same tedious process. First, I'd attempt to play oblivious to her requests and look away from the camera at just the right time, which would result in a harsh tsk and a few choice words. Once the layer of guilt for not cooperating with a simple request was laid flat, I'd give her the seriousness she was looking for. Well, maybe a little too intense, but hey.. I'm no super model. Sorry mom, but I did my best and forced out the best Cover Girl smile I could. A bit much? Never.

may day: 19

2011-05-19T19:20:00.001-07:00

For a while now I have been thinking about going away for a bit, to think, to explore, to shut out the world even just for a couple of days. My mind is everywhere lately and I kinda want to slow it down and whisk it away to someplace pretty, maybe so that we can make our way back on to speaking terms.

It's been a long time since I've thought much about myself, and maybe I still feel a bit selfish about it. I kinda want to dig around, trust myself, and pull something out of it. What? I don't know. I am not looking for anything in particular. Maybe some extra pieces of myself, to remind me of who I am and why I'm cool. Cool like this polka-dot kitty from Cookie Mama.

may day: 18 ..where am I?

2011-05-18T19:11:00.000-07:00

Where can I find this natural harmony you speak of? It's been a busy month. Enough that I am totally slacking on bloggerizing. Gotta get back on that.

When I'm tired, sometimes I put my angry eyebrows on. I call this piece "Me and my bitch." Wut.

may day: 14-16

2011-05-16T20:44:00.000-07:00

A very random tryptic.

may day: 12 &13

2011-05-13T22:55:00.000-07:00

When it comes to my birthday some might think I don’t take full advantage of the opportunity to make it extra special. The truth is that my idea of special is kinda different -or maybe a little low key. So, what? It's "my day."

I wore my favorite shirt, brought my dog to work, drank my favorite tea, listened to my favorite jazz ladies while I worked; in between garbage pizza, ice cream cake, and pop. I played some ball in the back yard, got a lap dance from Tim (referring to how my cat likes to snuggle), read a little, wrote a lot, took some time to do nothing at all, had a shower, used my favorite soap, ate a magnificent sandwich and called it a day.

Yes, it was just fine. Happy Birthday to me!

may day: 10, 11

2011-05-11T19:31:00.000-07:00

Hello, Cookie Mama. Where oh where was I when you came along? Gluten and dairy free cookies and cupcakes? What, did you say? Your Jamaican patties are divine as well? You don't say. You'll have to speak more clearly, I can't quite hear you over my screaming thighs. *I ate a RocketMan cupcake. Cookie Mama, you win.

On the topic of sweetness, let's just smile warmly at Tim.

may day: 9

2011-05-09T18:27:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, I like to draw ladies with long necks, just for fun.

may day: 8

2011-05-08T16:29:00.000-07:00

Though I'm not super pumped to see a group of weeds growing in my garden, at the moment, I will admit that it is nice to see that there are signs of green life, outside.

This made me think a lot about my garden and how much I am anticipating the summer to come. I got myself some seeds, and am thinking about how I'm going to approach it this time around. It needs to expand. More room for more peas(!) and maybe a raspberry bush? Hmm.

may day: 6 & 7

2011-05-07T12:25:00.000-07:00

So I may have slacked off on posting yesterday, but I did do the exercise. Friday's treat- of a Chachi's sandwich- was so worth the wait. Apparently, they have amazing macaroni and cheese. I'm all about the crunchy pickle as a side. So good!

Speaking of exercise, Breakfast went for his first swim today. He did awesome. My face hurts from laughing. He was pretty nervous for the most part, but may have some competition for Michael Phelps.

may day: 5

2011-05-05T18:02:00.001-07:00

Someone looks cute in their new collar.

Thanks, mom.

may day: 4

2011-05-04T19:14:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I have a really short fuse and would rather just go to bed and call it a day before the day is even over. Sometimes, for no good reason, I want to cross my arms and pout it out because it sounds like the best solution. Sometimes, I just don't feel like doing anything. Sometimes I don't understand why I'm in one of these moods to begin with. It's allowed, without any explanation.

may day: 3

2011-05-03T19:22:00.001-07:00

A photo a day for the month of May. A snippet of inspiration for an upcoming project.. in the month of May. Can't wait to see the finished result.

may day: 2

2011-05-02T19:29:00.000-07:00

Not quite the same deer I was hoping to spot...but at least the logo is cute.